An Early Morning Surprise

So the other night I am spending the night at Julie & Brendan’s house while they are at the hospital kicking the crap out of Rufus (if you are confused by this please visit  Anyway, as you all know, I don’t have any kids (but am hoping to if I can just find Prince Charming…actually, at this point, he doesn’t even have to be Prince Charming…just gainfully employed and intelligent) so I really enjoy spending time with Hallie, Jackson and Kendall.  (Stuff you parents find annoying and aggravating (tantrums) really amuse me!). 

So it was a rough long day and we had returned from the hospital and I had to get them in the bath and in bed in a really short amount of time.  I felt like I was doing really well and I got the kids in bed just about 15–20 minutes off normal bedtime.  (This was a big accomplishment because we had a few meltdown due to our big day and our Mom being in the hospital).  As with all kids they are trying to employ a myriad of bedtime stall technique.  I felt absolutely horrible telling them we cannot continue to offer different prayers, 4 prayers + singing Johnny Apple seed was really enough for God to understand where we were coming from.  (Believe me..I struggled with this wondering if God was going to be upset with me but I was pretty sure they normally didn’t do 4 prayers before bedtime!  Plus we were getting even further behind our normal routine…and you know how I am about schedule!). 

Part of the kids bedtime requirement is water (I can relate).  But this night I did not feel like there was really sufficient time for me to go downstairs and get them new waters…especially when their old waters were still full! (Please…this takes at least 3 minutes…I was fighting for any time I had).  So, I think  I am being real sneaky by determining their water bottles are still full and deciding to present them like I had just brought them up from downstairs.   So, as they are getting in bed, Jackson says, “But I need my water.”  And I, thinking that I am a rock star say, “But of course you do…that is why I have it right here!”  So I give both Hallie and Jackson their water (the same water from the night before) with a slight grin on my face that was saying, “Damn I’m good!”  Jackson takes a swig of his water, starts to cry and says, “No I need fresh cold water.”  FOILED!  (Deduct the 3 minute save from the evening ritual.)

I then proceed to fall asleep rather early knowing that morning comes way to soon with kids.  About 4 a.m. I am awaken by this whine/cry coming from the side of my bed.  It was Jackson, he wanted to crawl in bed with me. So I lift him up in the bed and he snuggles in close to me and falls back asleep.  I sit there, in awe of this feeling, having a young child snuggle up on you and fall asleep…he was just so cute..and I was overcome by the feeling of how great this experience was.  (Honestly…It made my womb ache). 

But…All you parents know the butt that is coming…this feeling of amazement wore off about 45 minutes later when I could no longer withstand the barrage of elbows and knees being dug in to my side.  This kicked off the start of what I like to call the Battle for the King Size bed.  One hour later, I move over 2”, he moves over 2” and puts a knee in my side..I move over 2” he kicks my ribs..I move over 2”…you get my point.  About 5:30 a.m. I realize I have been relegated to about 3 square inches of the remote far side of a King size bed…I give up. I get out of bed, shower and prepare for the day.

They are so damn cute when they sleep..but boy they pack a menacing punch!


BTW, totally off topic, but if you have not checked out my brothers blog, I suggest you do so. He is pretty funny!  (Those easily offended need not visit.)


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12 Responses to An Early Morning Surprise

  1. Geneen says:

    You’re awesome, Kerber! That’s all I can say. It’s simple and true. I have a friend I’d LOVE to set you up with, but he lives in Lubbock. Can’t wait to see you in December!

  2. Geneen says:

    If the Lubbock thing doesn’t stop you, well, let’s talk about it over the holidays. I’d love to make you my second successful love match (Charles and Gina being the first!). *giggle*

  3. Angie Morton says:

    I laughed through that entire post! You would be a great mom, Kerber.

  4. angie says:

    You need to snuggle with Evelyn. She SNUGGLES. Man she won’t leave the curve of your arms. Sometimes, thoguh, it makes you really really hot! Until you are sweating and then you try and do the “1-2-3 rollover” technique (as introduced by Ross on Friends). And once you move over, she moves right back into your arms to where she was comfortable and safe!

  5. Irma says:

    Whenever I am relegated to my 3sq. inches of our King Size bed by William I focus on the great feeling of having him quiet and still as he falls asleep snuggling in my arms. They are so beautiful/angelic when they’re sleeping quietly (and still). It makes everything worth it!
    The next morning when I wake up with puffy dark circled eyes from lack of sleep I focus on that moment even more!

  6. April Sanders says:

    Awesome story! I was laughing outloud sitting here at my desk!

  7. Julie says:

    So Geneen, any chance Lubbock will come to Houston? I have faith in your matchmaking skills!

  8. Liz Yeoman says:

    That’s funny Kerber… I can totally relate with the whole story.


  9. Geneen says:

    Ha ha! I am already conjuring a plan for Lubbock-man to come to Houston. 😀

  10. Nancy says:

    Great post, Jen… you will make a great mom someday. Even the lack of sleep makes it totally worth it.

    Yay, Geneen! Are you sure Lubbock-man can handle Kerber??? He’s gotta be pretty amazing!

  11. Geneen says:

    Lubbock-man is a great guy. Razor-sharp wit, smart and hilarious! I’ve had him in mind for Kerber for quite a while. 😀

  12. Kerber says:

    Poor Lubbock Man, does he know what he is in for. He would have to be willing to locate because God knows there is not a lot to do there and I don’t see any upword mobility for my government relations career in a city that is 6 hours away from any state capitol!

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