Mexican Standoff…with a dog.

This morning I got in a Mexican standoff with my dog, and lost.  I am sure it was very amusing to be one of my neighbors. 

Carson5

The Culpret

My interns will be house and dog sitting this weekend and I wanted to get the Carsonator all groomed up and looking good, so I scheduled him for a bath at the Vet.   (Funny story here, when I called the Vet to make the appointment, I accidentally called the Doctor’s office and said, “Hi, I would like to schedule a grooming appointment.  They were very confused…they said, “Grooming? I think you have the wrong number.”  It appears Fairfax Animal Hospital and Fairfax Family Practice are right beside each other in my contact list.)  I was suppose to drop him off between 8-9 a.m. this morning.  So, I open the front door and say, “Let’s go Carson.”  He practically trips over himself getting up and running to the front door because he is so excited to be going somewhere.  He bounds outside all excited to be out front with his Mom!  So I open the “5th Door” on my vehicle and tell him to hop in. 

Let me do a quick sidetrack here for a minute: Now he weighs 86 pounds so there is no “hopping” in anything…but normally he puts his front paws up on the bumper and I lift his back up and in the vehicle.  As he is getting older I think this is getting harder so I went out and purchased an outrageously priced ramp so he could walk his way up and into the car.  He refuses to use the ramp. He has used it twice, and that was only because I bribed him with treats and I think he was starving to death.  Do you know how embarrassing it is to: a) be outside with a dog ramp on your bumper; b) have a hand full of treats and be using your happy high pitched “good dog” voice to try and coax a dog into the back of your vehicle; c) and have your dog just sit there and look at you like you are retarded?  Furthermore…what am I suppose to do, breakout the dog ramp at the Vet’s office to load him up again?  It looks RICIDULOUS. 

Well he completely refuses to get in the vehicle.  In fact, he realizes it is raining and I think something just clicked in him.  He must have decided it was a great rainy day to lie around the house and watch TV and he wasn’t going to miss out on lazy action.  He decides to just sit on the sidewalk and tilt his head at me.  So I am standing outside in the rain, all dressed for work saying, “Come On Carson, Get in the Car….Come on boy…Don’t you want to go for a Road Trip…Come on Carson.  Do you want a treat?  Look Look, there is a treat in the car…do you want it?  Carson please get in the car…it will be fun!” 

Then the conversation slowly becomes, “Carson, get in the fricken car, Mommy has to go to work.”  “Carson, get in the car right now, I am not joking!”  As I am going through all of this he is just sitting there, until finally he just turns around and SLOWLY Walks back in the house.  So then I am shouting, “Carson, get your butt back here right now and get in this FRICKEN Car!” 

Well I realized it was all over with when Carson was peering at me through the screen door inside the dry house.  So I stomp up to the front door and yell at him, “Fine, just stay here you little jerk!” and then I slam the front door.  (Yes, very mature, I really showed him.”)

Worst part was the phone call I had to make: “Um yes, I need to cancel Carson grooming appoint for this morning.  No, No we won’t be making it in, he refuses to get in the car today.”   

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8 Responses to Mexican Standoff…with a dog.

  1. CeliaSue says:

    soooo funny…. dogs just have their own minds… my dog Cici sometimes does that… she gets all comfy inside the car and won’t come outside… dogs just gotta do what they gotta do when they wanna do it and we humans just gotta love em… even when they drive us stark crazed mad… a short time ago, Cici decided she would not put her delicate paws outside in the rain (after two years), she was looking at me as if I were somehow causing the water to pour down from the sky (like when I have hosed her down, two times, when she got all icky and muddy) …

  2. Nancy says:

    Way to be the “pack leader”, Jen!

  3. Angie Morton says:

    LMAO! I am sending the link to your website to my mom who just got an 85lb dane/labrador “puppy”! I warned her at this exact problem….

  4. kristi says:

    oh man this is hilarious! I can so see myself doing that with Lexus. You know he is sleeping on your bed all pleased with himself right now

  5. Jennifer says:

    Good news is Carson isn’t a furniture guy..he doesn’t get on the couch or the bed, even though I told him he could. He prefers his beds, spread throughout the house!

  6. erstwhile says:

    I bet he was afraid you were taking him to your office and he was scared of the No-Pant person.

  7. Pingback: Another Run In With the Carsonator « Observations From The Nation’s Capital

  8. Pingback: My Online LIfe « Observations From The Nation's Capital

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