I spent a lot of time today reflecting on Jaymuns death with friends. I feel like so many of us were invested in Jaymun’s wellfare. As I have said before, Jaymun’s parents were very kind in praying for Julie and Julie followed their blog. Also, Jaymun showed me my first miracle and he made me believe that if I trust in God he will take care of everything.
Today I spent a lot of time talking with friends about Jaymun, his little smile, his fighting ability, and his amazing family. It made us think about what his parents and siblings are going through. I know they must be numb and trying to comprehend this. It reminded us of Julies last day and what that was like.
When Julie started to die I was desperately trying to get to Texas from D.C. I knew she was basically gone but I could not get a flight home until Saturday. It was bad weather in Texas and I was worried I wasn’t going to get to the hospital in time (Lucikly I had a church praying for me to get there). I made it to the hospital in time. I have to say the flight was miserable. Almost 3 hours stuck on a plane and I know the poor peopl e sitting beside me must of thought I was having a breakdown because I just cried to myself the whole time. (The one thing I hate the most about living so far away from my family is that when something happens, I am stuck on a 3 hour plane ride trying to get home. If I were in Texas I would be a short drive away). When I got to the hospital I was given some time with Julie to say my peace, but the fact was, there wasn’t anything I needed to say. I had said it all in the previous 14 months when I was traveling back and forth to Texas. I just wanted to let her know I was there and she could cross over whenever she was ready.
When she died I was by her side along with her family. It was the first time I actually cried loudly. I was chest heaving bawling. It was an amazing way to go…we were all surrounding her praying with her favorite priest. When she died we kind of hung out in the room and in the hallway for an hour or so waiting for them to come take the body. I don’t think we really knew what to do. I remember looking at her family and thinking, “And then there were 3” (3 siblings). Such a strange thing to think about when for 27 years I had only known 4 siblings. Today I read Jaymuns blog about an hour after he passed and I thought, “Are they still waiting for someone to come take Jaymun away?” Are they still wondering what they are suppose to do? Are they madly thinking about who all they need to make sure knows?
I drove the 40 minutes home that night just numb. I was driving slow and I don’t even think I had the radio on. We hadn’t really eaten much that day so I stopped at the grocery store. This scary looking girl with puffy eyes and tear stains on her face checked out with a Bottle of wine, a pack of Pizza Rolls, and a box of Grasshopper cookies….the dinner of champions. I went home, curled up in a leather chair, ate bad food and drank a bottle of wine. I stayed in that chair for about 24 hours and then it was time to deal with details. There were friends to get in town, funeral details to plan, picture slides shows to make, etc. etc.
So all day to day I thought…is this what Jennifer and Dave are doing? Do they even have time to do this? They have 4 other children. You can’t shut down when you have children. One thing I do know about this time is that we really enjoyed reading the blog posts. It was almost theraputic. In fact, the post where we told everyone she passed actually had 333 comments. Why is that significant? 3 was Julie & Brendan’s special number. We found comfort in all those 3’s and we knew it meant that Julie was okay. Thank God we had Brad to post that passage of Julie’s passing, I don’t think anyone else could have done it. In fact, it was 4 days after Julie passed until we could post something. So I look at Jaymun’s blog and I think about how only his family has ever posted on that….how long will it take them to find the words to communicate what they are going through?
I wonder, have Jennifer & Dave seen a sign from Jaymun? Do they see God’s power in this tragic situation? On this sad day I can only pray that Faith will help heal the Kaat family, that Jaymun’s siblings cherish the memories they had, and that Dave’s research on natural therapies can help others fighting this awful disease. But most of all, I pray God will take away their pain and give them peace.